I am needing guidance today – I have a lot of love and respect for my mother, and I have a VERY hard time going against her wishes. I guess that’s one of the things that I struggle with the most – where do I stop being my mother’s daughter and start being myself? She does not agree with some of the things happening in my life and it’s really tearing me up inside, and has been for a long time. I hate disagreeing with her, and it’s to the point where I feel like I need to go against what I want to do what she wants. And it’s not so much about wanting to please her as it is that I trust her so much that I often use her as a barometer for what I should do. If she doesn’t think I should do it, then she’s probably right.
I guess I’m starting to think about making a very difficult decision that I don’t particularly want to make, but I’m thinking that I’m willing to go against my own wishes to fulfill those of my mother. I hate that she is so incredibly disappointed in me and she constantly tells me that I’m not living up to my potential. I guess my prayer request is that I can be open enough to God’s guidance to know which way I should go – whether that is with what my mom wants or with what I am wanting.
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